Do you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others? Think about the last 24 hours: How many people have you been envious of or made your life feel like it paled in comparison? When you want to feel better about yourself, you might engage in comparisons to those who are worse off than you are. However, this is an unhealthy habit. It's important to know how to stop comparing yourself to others to start honoring all that you are.
Why Do You Compare Yourself to Others?
The tendency to compare ourselves to others is almost human nature. Even though we know we shouldn't do it, understand that you're not alone in this experience. Comparing yourself to other people is one of the easiest ways to feel bad about yourself as you might think others have better jobs, homes, bodies, or time. These negative comparisons can lead you down a path of unhappiness, making you feel jealous and inferior. You might end up making bad decisions based on these assumptions, causing you greater stress and anxiety.
Why Comparisons Fail
If you compare yourself to others, you simply set yourself up for failure as you will never live up to all the expectations you have. Other ways that comparisons fail include the following:
You only see the results and not the effort. When you concentrate on someone else's success, you only see the outcome. You don't know how long it took someone to get there.
You don't know what they went through. Things usually look better from the outside, so you don't know what someone else is going through. It's an unfair comparison.
You aren't them. You're a unique person, and your strengths and weaknesses are different than anyone else's. When you compare yourself to others, you take away the areas that make you special.
You minimize your achievement. If you're working toward a goal of completing a 5K, you should applaud yourself for preparing for the race and not focusing on why you can't be like someone who's competing in a marathon.
How To Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
It's not easy to break the cycle of comparing yourself to others. One way to do it is to find a network of supporters who can check in with you and keep you accountable. Other tips on how to stop comparing yourself to other people include the following:
Avoid knocking others down. You might notice that you put others down in order to make yourself look and feel better. However, this isn't beneficial as you form an enemy rather than someone that can help you. Instead, try to support others in their success.
Be grateful. Instead of focusing on what you don't have, take a minute and realize all that you do have. Think about how lucky you are to have these things, including the people in your life.
Be more aware. You might not realize that you compare yourself to others, so the solution is to become conscious about it. Concentrating on these thoughts for a few minutes each day can make you more aware of what you're doing.
Focus on your strengths. Instead of concentrating on what you think you're lacking, ask yourself what your strengths are. Don't brag about them, but feel good about these strengths and use them to your advantage.
Take a break. If you find that you're constantly scrolling on social media and getting jealous of where people are on vacation or what they're accomplishing, disconnect for a bit.
Do you need help learning how to stop comparing yourself to other people and focus more on your own achievements? Finding the best support can make a world of difference, so it's important to get started sooner rather than later. How about starting today?
Louise Heite is a certified life & business coach, leadership consultant, and holistic wellness advocate who helps founders, entrepreneurs, and leaders fuel their best selves and find breakthrough success.
With a track record of proven results, she helped scale and lead global customer support groups, built strong partnerships with Fortune 500 companies, and headed a crisis management team that brought over 2,000 people to safety. She is passionate about helping high-achieving individuals live life on purpose.